Shamanism through the ages

 This is to clear up you clueless New Agers that think you understand Shamanism enough to tell other people what it is. I am so over you people.

Back when “people” were just learning to steal the skins of other animal and do organized hunts, they started a process that we would like to call thinking. In that process they started to question life around them and ask the eternal question, “why”. Well, there’s always that one person in the group that will go a little farther than everyone else and look to find an answer. That  person watched the other animals, they watched the cycles of the Earth and came up with stories, spawned by their young imaginations that explained the world. Shamanism has gone like this until just recently. 

There is still the divide between the ones that call themselves traditional Shaman and those that are just Shaman. The traditional ones usually fit nicely into one group. The love to sit around in their magic circles and beat drums and do the ya ya hey hey thing. They tell all the mythological stories that support their beliefs. It’s so cute to watch.

Then there is that group of Shaman that study quantum physics, homeopathy, read the works of Reich, Hanneman, Tesla, Hawking, Sun…..They are also the ones that have an out of the ordinary sense of humor, do controlled substances, drink, have sex without a higher good in mind, make special brownies and have hedonism as a required study. These are the ones I think are on the real Shamanic path because they are honest about themselves and they are seeking the truth about life’s mysteries, no matter how it will conflict with what they already believe.

You can go to a real Shaman and ask a question and get an answer this year that may be a little different the next year because of an event that showed that Shaman new information. Some people may think this is the typical flaky process that goes along with the metaphysical scene but I will mention in 1964 I was taught in school that there were only three parts to an atom and radiation was our friend. Not too long ago the most intelligent minds knew for a fact that the Earth was flat and the center of the universe and blood flowed in the body like an open ocean. 

Here is a list that I came up with that I call the basic requirements for a person to be a good Shaman. 

1. You need to come from a dysfunctional family.
2. You need to understand abuse, alcohol, drug, sexual, physical, mental, verbal, the more the better.
3. You need to have a fast mind. This is usually shown through a quick humor and/or problem solving skills.
4. You may have a thought that nothing is sacred nor should it be.
5. You will probably have a very strong sex drive.
6. You may think some things are funny while other people severely disagree.
7. You have the ability to teach without formal training.
8. Even the most introverted people will instantly open up to you.
9. You can make friends with the most vicious junk yard dog because you can relate.
10. You had the “visits” from the other side at an early age. 

Sometimes we can seem like a twisted bunch, but everyone wants to come to our parties.

The same Shaman can be found working as a grocery clerk, mercenary, paramedic, construction worker, porn star, pilot, truck driver or what ever comes up from their journey. They will totally get into whatever they are doing at the moment and the environment they are in at that time.

They are the people that are usually the quiet, dirty, sweaty people volunteering at natural disaster sites while the imitation Shaman are trying to tell the parents of dead children that it’s all good and in divine order.

They can be the gas station attendant that tells you about your nightmares and past life experiences.

They can be the porn star that works as a part time stripper that is a good listener.

They can be all the things that you would never expect a Shaman to be in places that seem so unholy or spiritual. Normally you won’t find them in some air conditioned classroom teaching someone else’s bullshit because the have an “I passed a Shamanic course” paper on the wall. 

May the force be with you if are “the chosen one” to be the target of our practical jokes.

Shamanism is getting into life and everything that goes with it. If you haven’t experienced something, how do you have to right to teach about it? I have children and have been to some of their births. I wouldn’t think I could teach a childbirth class. I couldn’t talk about menopause and I am definitely not the guy to ask on how to have a successful long term relationship.

Shamanism is about experimentation and testing your theories before you try to teach something. A real Shaman will let you know you are a fucked up individual and not try to dress it up with some white lighter justification. A real Shaman will help you develop who you really are, not who everyone thinks you should be. A real Shaman understands that some things just can’t be fixed and may take a temporary job as a sniper in a third world shit hole. 

So Shamanism has evolved a long way from telling the story of when the Great Raven flapped its wings seven times and created the universe, or how some chic that was fucking around on her husband said God knocked her up. Shamanism became the reality show that HBO won’t even air.

“The people you see on this show are real. Their names and identities have not been changed, no one is protected. The situations are real and there are no co incidences between what you see in Shamanism and real life you dumbass, new age flake.” 

Personally, I really don’t want to hang with anyone in Shamanism that doesn’t have some kind of bad reputation or rumors. People make mistakes. Or do they? Maybe it’s divine guidance for our higher learning. Yeah, that’s it. I channeled that.

Shamanism is about being yourself, being honest about it, and being ok with that.

It’s good to do the many traditional studies and get some basics of applied energetics so you understand how things generally work. If you want to study under someone after that, look at the above list. If they don’t have but a couple light weight requirements, they haven’t spent enough time on the anvil to be shaped into a Shaman worthy of teaching Shamanism.

Shamanism is living a life that will make a great true story that will be told as a teaching implement. Live it. Don’t leave any blank pages. One day the book will close. 

If I was to say there was only one sin, it would be not living true to your nature. A Shaman will live according to their true nature and that’s the main reason they usually don’t fit in. So goes Shamanism through the ages. It will always be one of those places that the out of ordinary people go to fit in with the other black sheep of humanity that people look to for spiritual guidance.

Feeling Shamanic yet?