That’s right folks. We have the beach you want to get washed up on. Are you tires of being hungry? Come to the country that throws 3,000 pounds of edible food away every second. Tired of popping out babies you can’t feed? We have the welfare system for you! We’ll feed them and we have fertility drugs that can insure you have litters more.
You’re probably thinking that sneaking over our border could be a dangerous thing. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. Just look at this comparative study.
IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR.
IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.
IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT.
IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE JAILED.
IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.
IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.
IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.
IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. . BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET:
1 – A JOB,
2 – A DRIVERS LICENSE,
3 – SOCIAL SECURITY CARD,
4 – WELFARE,
5 - FOOD STAMPS,
6 – CREDIT CARDS
7 – SUBSIDIZED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE,
8 – FREE EDUCATION,
9 – FREE HEALTH CARE,
10 – A LOBBYIST IN WASHINGTON
11 – BILLIONS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF PUBLIC DOCUMENTS PRINTED IN YOUR LANGUAGE
12 – AND THE RIGHT TO CARRY YOUR COUNTRY’S FLAG WHILE YOU PROTEST THAT YOU DON’T GET ENOUGH RESPECT.
Quite a difference, isn’t it? So tell your friends and family that you know where the land of milk and honey is and pass out those inner tubes and other floating items, hop that fence or crawl under it, do whatever it takes at this special time in American history when we are trying harder than ever to spread the wealth (this word may not apply soon) of the people who pay the taxes that support all those programs.
Would you like to see the rest of the world? We have several travel groups you can join that are active on every continent. Once you’ve passed the free introductory courses on the group you want to join you are always provided with free clothes and foot ware specifically designed for your group. The patterns and colors of these clothes help you blend in with nature and your surroundings. We have endless hiking possibilities, air travel and even voyages at sea and under water. All of our travel groups have marksmanship courses and several groups have world renowned fireworks. No one can light up the sky like we can!
Well garsh darnit, what are you waitin’ for? Sneak on over and say hi.
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